Dorit comes to London and Seek and Hide becomes the new Dungeons and Dragons

Lynn Reid Banks will come to England's Lane bookshop next Monday. I think the last time I wrote there was a LOT about Two Is Lonely as it became some sort of bridge back to the UK.

I returned to London 3-and-a-half months ago and don't think I have written since. To merge Britain and Israel is so effortless in the world and mindset I inhabit. To care, take pride and realise its place in one's only-child instrospection is altogether different.

So Dorit arrived 10 days ago to prepare She London: The First Instalment with T, R, M and me. I had done some things...met with the girls, spoken with them, shaped my mind to their worlds, tried to pluck from them their needs and images for the process and purpose last week was to carve for us.

Since leaving Tel Aviv there has been no regression but a sort of bike-pedalling on the spot (not a gym bike) , in the sense that I can't ride a bike so the pedalling is quite impressive to watch but it is not really moving. There is space to think and analyse and to do these things productively requires discipline that, in Israel, exists without question. I forgot that with Dorit one cannot hide behind song lyrics, corsets, one-liners and eyeliners and homemade cakes.

She London at the end of February will see 5 spaces in the New End inhabited by a different artist as the audience, split into 5 groups, will move every 10 minutes around the circle. What questions are raised? Which thoughts must contextualise each artist's process and the final rooms' "products"? How, in 2 cities with 2 languages and so much to say, do we keep the circle simple with one centre-point focus?

Dorit worked with me to develop Undressing Cabaret for my relationship with the New End, for the relationship between one woman and a life and comfortablity in London and the tension and tears they encompass in contrast to their Tel Aviv counterparts. The other 3 women developed their performance art, improvisational and storytelling bases for the auditorium, bar and balcony and L's amazing skeletal puppet was incorporated on the main stage.

The flow of the evening felt practical and the Question and Answer session really showed the sophistication and intelligence of the audience but the special thing for me was what the other women in the circle chose not to mention when questioned about their thoughts and development.

In and out in and out that was how I felt all the time last week whilst all the time inside, Dorit talking with me, questioning me, caring about what I said not just for me but for the She circle, for the process of creating She London, for the bigger picture of joining the New End and the Karov, Britain and Israel. Every question, every answer, acknowledged and developed not with instensity or sentimentality but with true listening and understanding. And honesty.

An open heart and open mind...these words I always echo (somewhat nauseatingly) in every Meow Kacha I do and I have had neither for so long, not really. Then the Karov in London, Dorit in She, and the confrontations, denials and whims of the other three girls rotated something. Not changed but turned a bit of the core I can't get to, I can't control.

Fear is a powerful thing. If I lie awake at night with a two-liner lyric echoing in my mind with an anxiety in my belly which, unreassuringly, stems not from instinct but from the ever-present tendancy to only place myself first, that requires a change that can only come from small twists and turns step by step. She is so clever because it allows for slowly slowly...a long-term, gentle and firm nurturing which raises questions for the outer as well as finding answers for the inner.

I can take the care and nurture and grow and change, but can I pass it on? Can I find this friendly medium director-wise as well as performer-wise? When I continue to work with T, R and M between now and February, when I host Meow Kacha not in my parents' house and when C goes to Germany? These questions can only be answered if you consider them not in the context of your own life and experiences but after acknowledging and really caring about the questions posed by others...thinking about how their own pasts and presents shape their interpretation of your work and ideas.

If I can start to do this, degree by degree things will start to move and turn, I just know it, especially for the New End. It must have a future, it has to. And A is right, let's not make lists, let's do.